When I go for a run, there are two constants. Two absolute rules of the universe that simply cannot be avoided. One: The more wonderful it is, the more likely I am to find new and inventive ways to bring it crashing down around me. Two: If my run brings me within 30ft of a…
Why do we run races? What sets them apart from a bog standard training run, enough to persuade us to part with our hard-earned cash and queue for twenty minutes to use a toilet that smells like a family of clowns died in it? Is it the medal? The goodie bag? The cheerful bonhomie and…
There’s a hill near where I live. My town sprawls under it, and you can see for miles. It’s lovely. I sometimes just stand there for a while and take in the view. Obviously, this is mostly so that I can get an early warning if there happens to be a Godzilla rampaging along the…
Do any of you know the shortest laps a marathon has ever been broken down into? I know that track marathons are a thing. But I’m thinking smaller. Also, what would be the risks of running a marathon around (for the sake of argument) a sports hall? Dizziness? Nosebleeds? Pirates? Oh god, please don’t let…
AKA: Super Special Lovely Magic Birthday Rainbow Shoes (Part 2) If you write a blog, it’s VITALLY important that you tell the whole world whether any new product you come across is great or if it’s poop. This is partly due to a sense of moral obligation, a need to use your platform to share…
Whenever I retire a pair of running shoes, it’s with a considerable amount of reluctance. Also, they’re never properly retired, as I always find an excuse to keep them in my life. At any one time, I’ll have at least 6-7 pairs of no-longer-running running shoes dotted around the house, each with a specific purpose…
My recent foray into being a big fat non-runner led to many of you offering practical advice. This advice mainly fell into one of three categories: Just knuckle down and stick with it. Just knuckle down and stick with it, you annoying, self-absorbed, whiny idiot. Try the cycling. The first two options appealed to me,…
You lot are ace. Just a quick little note to say thanks for all of your responses to my recent (whiny) plea for help (sympathy). It’s still early days, and my legs still feel like they’re made of super-dense Lego, but I’ve snapped out of the “this is the end of my runningness” dumps. It’s…
Hello strangers. It’s been a while hasn’t it? Looking back through the history of this silly little blog, a couple of things are abundantly clear. Firstly, I mention zombies a lot more than is normal for a supposedly full-grown man. Secondly, it’s really quite sickening just how many of the posts are on the theme…
