I-SPY: 24 hour running events

  Thunder Run, Equinox, Endure 24r, the Spitfire Scramble, Doug’s 24hr Erotic Runstravaganza1. These days you can’t move without tripping over a 24 hour running event. These multi-lap events are fun for all the family, as long as your family is into watching you run round and round a muddy field for an entire day and night. But for those of you whose families would rather kick themselves in the face than watch you stumble back to camp complaining of blisters twenty four times, I’ve put together a fun game for them to play. They score points for all the things they spot, and whoever has the most points at the end of the twenty four hours wins a nice prize, such as not having to sit next to the man who stinks of sweat, mud and portaloos on the drive home.

So, without further ado, pencils at the ready…

Team who didn’t cordon off enough space for everyone’s tents, meaning that some of the later arrivals are now having to pitch their tents inside other tents. 5pts

Very Serious Running Club, jogging around the campsite, like they’re Cobra Kai off of Karate Kid. 2pts

VSRC Coach in twenty year old Ron Hill tracksuit, apoplectic with rage, veins pulsing in his forehead as he berates a terrified junior team member for wearing the wrong shade of black shorts. 2pts

Somebody swearing at a tent at 3am. 3pts

“On your left!” 1pt

“On your right!” 1pt

“Coming underneath!” 25pts

Somebody adding chia seeds to a Pot Noodle, because running. 3pts

Runner who’s just completed their lap, hovering at the changeover area while clutching the baton and calling out for a team mate who is probably still fast asleep in their tent. 4pts

Team camp area festooned with flipcharts, graphs and other signs that they’re taking this very seriously. 6pts

Team camp area festooned with runners who have clearly decided not to bother with any actual running, and are turning this into a 24hr drinkathon. 3pts

Runner who only brought their brand new pristine road shoes with them, staring at the mud and having a little cry. 3pts

Solo runner in the early hours of the morning, wearing a haunted expression which suggests that agony is now a happy memory. 5pts

Someone who spent longer baking for the event than you did training for it. 3pts

Team who decided to save a bit of money and get their team shirts printed on cotton rather than wicking material. Now all united in their pained looks and grated nipples. 1pt per bloodstain

St John Ambulance person, barely able to walk under the sheer weight of their pouches, pointless carabiners, spare torches and other tactical kit that would look over-the-top in a war zone.  3pts

Runner clearly embracing the spirit of the event by eating an ice cream while starting their lap. 5pts

Team who brought their own candelabra. 2pts (or 10pts if you somehow manage to suppress your camp envy)

Somebody at the changeover point trying to dramatically slap the baton onto their team-mates wrist, but missing. 6pts

“Hey, that team brought a dog with them. I wish I had a dog”. 7pts

Somebody sprinting from their tent to the changeover area, while trying to tie their laces and muttering “ohshitohshitohshitohshit”. 2pts

Solo, running in the wrong direction. 50pts during the early stages of the event, 1pt in the last two hours.

Solo, talking to tree. See above.

Somebody barking into a walkie talkie as the come into the last kilometre, like they’re some kind of special agent. “Honey Badger to Supercow, are you receiving me, Supercow? I’m approaching Charlie Papa. T minus four minutes. Confirm you’re ready to fly”. 5pts

Walkie talkie man, two minutes later, and a lot more shouty. “JEFF! JEFF!!! FOR %$&s SAKE, ANSWER THE BLOODY RADIO JEFF, YOU *%^£$!” 5pts

Runner who remembered tent, sleeping bag and enough food and camping equipment to last them a month, doing the event in their pants because they forgot to pack any actual running kit. 6pts

Team running the final lap together, showing the spirit of running in all its glory. 4pts

VSRC runner, desperate for a podium place, bowling the aforementioned team out of the way while muttering “this is for athletes, not you $£**& losers” or some similarly charming rejoinder. 2pts

 

1 One of those might be made up.
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