Hello nice people who read my blog. You may remember that a few weeks ago I tried to figure out whether there was any point in running gloves. My carefully thought out (i.e. I wasn’t drunk) conclusion was that, no, there wasn’t really any point in all the extra bells and whistles, and a bog-standard pair of gloves would do just fine.
However, since I posted it, several people have leapt to the defence of running gloves, citing some important features that you just don’t tend to find in ordinary gloves. So, in the interests of balance, here’s the argument in favour of running gloves
- Scrunch-uppiness. One of the advantages of running gloves is that they tend to be very thin and lightweight, so you can scrunch them into a tiny ball and store them in your bra until you need them (or so I’m told). Thin latex/nitrile gloves would be equally stowable, but they’d soon make your hands sweaty and, more importantly, make you look a bit like a serial killer.
- Handy pockets. Running gloves often feature little pockets in the palm. These are a handy place to store small items such as coins, nanobots, a spare pair of gloves (see above) or one of those little things that super-villains throw on the floor that explodes in a big puff of smoke so that they can escape. These pockets are actually advertised as key pockets, but that’s of no use to me as I don’t carry a house key with me when I run; I tend to just hide it behind the small red flowerpot next to the garage.
Um… you should probably forget you read that last bit. Thanks.
- Nose-wipe chamois thumb. This is the thing that won me over, and I can’t believe I overlooked it. Regular woolly gloves are toasty and warm to run in, but have you ever casually wiped your nose on one? You’re left with a glistening shimmery snail-trail of mucus, streaked atop the wool like wet toilet paper draped on top of a privet hedge. Who’s going to want to shake your hand after that? Nobody, that’s who.
Well, maybe perverts.