Here in the UK, we’re currently in the middle of a heatwave, which can have an unpleasant effect on our running. Many of us are seeing the pastime that usually makes us feel so energised suddenly transformed into a sticky humid mess of heavy-legs and lethargy.
So I thought I’d share a few essential tips with you, to help you keep on running. Besides, everyone loves a list, right?
DISCLAIMER: If you actually take these tips seriously, then you should probably talk to someone. But not to me.
- Keep an eye on your pee. If your urine has the colour and consistency of marmalade, it may be a sign that you’re severely dehydrated. Or that you eat a lot of marmalade.
- Don’t be tempted to run shirtless. I don’t care how hot it is, or how toned you are; if you run shirtless everyone will look at you, and not in a good way. Instead, run shortless. This will keep you cool, and people will fall over themselves not to look at you.
- Don’t waste your sweat. Drinking the harvested perspiration of middle-of-the-pack runners is the latest Hollywood trend. Before you head out on a run, duct tape a load of sponges all over your body. Later on, you can just sit back and wait for the cash to start rolling in.
- I think I read somewhere that we lose most of our body heat through the top of our heads. Turn this to your advantage on a hot day by increasing the size of your head in order to vent unwanted heat more quickly. (I haven’t actually worked out how to increase head-size, but surely that’s what we pay scientists for)
- Although it’s hot and sunny right now, remember that the weather can be very temperamental. Wear a lightweight vest and running shorts, but be prepared for any sudden changes in the weather conditions by carrying a long-sleeved top with you.
- And a rainproof jacket, running tights, a couple of different hats and a buff.
- And mittens.
- I’m well aware that I’m cheating a bit with this list now.
- Ice is cold, isn’t it? Something about ice.
- Coconut water is an excellent source of hydration and contains tons of electrolytes. Carry at least 24 coconuts on every run (unless you’re trying for a PB, in which case just carry a dozen; you don’t want to weigh yourself down).
- Apply a liberal coating of sun cream all over your body, and consider using a little bit of BodyGlide (or similar anti-chafe product) on your groin and nipple areas. NEVER get this the wrong way round: You will get sunburned. On the plus side, if you’re unfortunate enough to be targeted by robbers during your run, they’ll have very little chance of grabbing hold of you.
- In hot weather, it’s common for your legs to feel heavier than usual. This is because all the sweat is running down your legs and collecting in your socks. The modern wicking materials used in running socks means that each one can hold up to 50 pints of water, so stop every half a mile to wring them out and you’ll soon be flying along.
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