Everyone needs a nemesis, and now I’ve got one. Well, more than one actually. In fact there are millions of the little bastards, who all share the common goal of relentlessly violating my mouth and nostrils. Before you get excited1 I should probably point out that I’m talking about little black swarming flies commonly known as midges; the tiny winged fascists who, a while back, blighted what should have been a lovely lakeside run. It started off as the occasional bug cloud, with my response ranging from mild annoyance through to giving the impression that I was fighting off invisible ninjas. From there it quickly got worse, with swarms so dense that I had to occasionally stop and climb over them. I later worked out that although the run had burned off around 800 calories, I must’ve eaten at least twice that amount just by running with my mouth slightly open.
It’s the first time I’ve ever aborted a run, and I swore that I’d make sure it never happens again. So… I’ve been inventoring…
Presenting: The Jaymatic Anti-Midge Hat
1 Too late?
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