“For athletes looking to take their performance to the next level”.
Well, I’d been dubious, but there it was in black and white on their website.
Mr Lacy, a company usually associated with fashion laces has moved into the running market and rather than just throw us any old tat, it seems they’ve been busy in the lab, working on a product that’ll not only look good but will also enhance our performance.
But taking athletes “to the next level” is a bold claim. What’s so special about these laces? Well, according to the Mr Lacy website, the “Runnies” are thinner and lighter than regular laces. Can’t argue with their logic: the lighter we are, the faster we run. That’s science right there. But the boffins at Mr Lacy weren’t satisfied with just improving our performance a little bit, so they’ve also made the Runnies “hydrophobic”, which means they repel water rather than allowing it to soak into the laces and weigh your shoes down. Water’s heavy, right? That’s why rain falls downwards. I remember one time, my laces got so waterlogged during a half marathon that I was rooted to the spot for two hours, and had to wait for a marshal to kindly dry them out with a battery operated hair-dryer before I was able to continue on my way.
I’m sure many of you, when you first started reading this post, were dubious of the claim that mere shoelaces could take your performance To The Next Level. Well there’s no shame in admitting you were wrong, and I don’t mind saying that I felt the same way until I read the science behind it.
A friend of mine did a few sums when he heard about this product. There’s a widely accepted formula which states that for every 1lb of weight we lose, our minute/mile pace improves by 2 seconds. He worked out that if a pair of Runnies weighed 2 grams less (around 0.0044lb) than regular laces, we stand to improve our overall marathon time by .23 of a second. Well, he’s clearly an idiot, because if what he says is true, how come the people at Mr Lacy are so comfortable in claiming that their product will take your performance To The Next Level?
…unless when they say “the next level” they’re actually referring to a sort of sub-level, just microscopically higher than the level you’re already on. You know, the “next level” you get to if you cut your fingernails before going for a run or part your hair in such a way that it cuts down a bit of wind resistance.
Anyway, I’ve ordered a set of Runnies, so once I’ve tried them out I‘ll let you know how I get on. Prepare to be amazed.