The Snot Rocket Diaries

jack-black-slimed

Like a 7 min/mile pace and the ability to look good in a vest, the snot rocket is a skill that many runners take for granted*. Not me though; for some reason I’ve never quite mastered the art of squeezing one nostril shut and jettisoning a nose goblin from the other. Others seem to do it with effortless grace, sending their nasal payload zinging through the air like a slimy green dwarf fired from a circus cannon. Doesn’t stop me from trying though…

1st Jan: Wet sleeve

3rd Jan: Wet sleeve

8th Jan: This…

he-slimed-me

10th Jan: Wet sleeve

11th Jan: Passable effort. Gym staff less than pleased. It’s true what they say: You never really appreciate how many nooks and crannies are in the average treadmill until you’ve been forced to clean stuff out of one by a scowling Adonis.

20th Jan: Wet sleeve

22nd Jan: Wet sleeve

2nd Feb: Wet face

8th Feb: Went in my eye

9th Feb: Decorated a fellow parkrunner. Unexpected speedwork session. Who said runners were a friendly laid back bunch???

13th Feb: Wet sleeve.

16th Feb: Gave up and bought a hankie.

If any Hollywood moguls are reading this, I’m willing to negotiate a screen adaptation of the Snot Rocket Diaries. While some might argue it’s more Adrian Mole than Anne Frank, it does feature bogeys, and everyone loves bogeys*. Facto.

If you want to learn more about this sort of thing then you can have a look at this instructional video by Mark Remy off of Runners World. Also, you’re a bit weird.

 

* Fun fact: At one point in the mid-eighties, 85% of all British punk bands were called” Snot Rocket”.
(Not really)
** Although some people love them a bit too much. While idly researching the subject online I stumbled across a picture of a charming young lady snot rocketing into her friend’s open mouth from point blank range. There are some things you just can’t un-see.
 
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6 thoughts on “The Snot Rocket Diaries

  1. I think we should seal you in perspex as some kind of national treasure. I had to explain the concept of the snot rocket, then the scene from Ghostbusters and finally why I was laughing so hard at some strange man’s ramblings.

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