I never learn, except when I do


The other day I had my longest run ever, a whopping (by my standards) 15 miles at a gentle pace that, allowing for a coffee detour and numerous bouts of stopping to look at stuff,  took me just under 3 hours with an average moving pace of 10:22/mile. Poring over the stats afterwards, I was also surprised to see that my chosen route had twice the total elevation of the mighty Bedford Half Marathon, which is hillier than a hilly thing.

But enough of the number-crunching and back-slapping; what I really want to do in this post is commemorate my longest run by sharing a few things I learned during those blissful miles…

1. When seen up close, rather than from a car, roadkill is much more tubey.

2. Looking for some great music to run to? Listening to Dappy singing “we will rock you” makes your legs feel surprisingly fresh.

3. Looking for some great music to run to? Listening to Dappy singing “we will rock you” makes the rest of you feel dirty.

4. …Seriously, it’s like being punched in the soul.

5. If, like me, you find Long Slow Runs mentally challenging, try removing distance from the screen of your GPS watch (maybe replacing it with total time elapsed, or a nice picture of a kitten). I found that this made me less conscious of how far I’d run and how far I still had to go, and instead just let me enjoy each step in its own right.

6. My nutrition strategy of 250ml of High-5, one coffee and five jelly babies was more than enough to get me through 15 miles (albeit slowly).

7. If you listen to music while running, it’s guaranteed that at some point you will tap out a drum solo on your tummy.

(Just make sure it’s definitely your tummy. I’m now banned from every Parkrun in the East Midlands)

8. While delicious and vaguely nutritious, my post-LSR meal could be mistaken for the work of a five year-old who’s just spent three days eating blue smarties before being shown a picture of some jambalaya and let loose in a kitchen.

9. The best thing about a long run is that when you get home you can stretch your arms out to the sides and taxi onto your driveway like some sort of sweaty airplane and blame it on a combination of endorphins and dehydration. And yes, I made the noises too.

10. When you run, there’s nothing in the world that doesn’t makes sense*. But I’m guessing most of you already knew that J



*Except number 2.

7 thoughts on “I never learn, except when I do

  1. Once again, brilliant! My runs are only ever slow and not always long, but the same sort of off-the-wall madness drifts through my head.
    I haven’t yet treated myself to music while I run because my earpiece thingies are uncomfortable, so there is the ever-present sound of my tortured breathing and my feet thumping.
    Please keep on plodding – and blogging.

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