1. Wonder how the GPS in your mobile phone or in-car satnav can lock on in a matter of moments. Decide to write a stern letter to your MP about it.
2. Whisper into it while glancing around in a furtive manner, so everyone thinks you’re some sort of secret agent.
Seriously, they’ll totally think that.
3. Alphabetise your gels.
4. Do a thorough all-body warm-up while at the same time trying to hold your wrist absolutely still.
5. Gaze thoughtfully up at the sky as if you fully expect to see the satellites, so that you can then make minute adjustments to your position, thereby speeding the whole process along a bit. Every single one of you has done this at some point.
6. Boil an egg.
…assuming of course that you’ve got a pan of boiling water handy.
…and an egg.
(Once it’s boiled to perfection, just throw it away. No time to stand around eating eggs like some sort of fancy la-di-dah egg-eater; there’s running to be done!)
7. Write to the letters page of Runner’s World magazine, demanding that they print more articles about puppies.
8. Stand absolutely still, staring blankly ahead, arms held down by your sides. Then, when your watch beeps to signal that it’s locked on, spring to life and start running. Everyone will think you’re a robot.
9. Write a quick blog post, in which you suggest ten things to do while waiting for your Garmin to lock onto satellites.
10. Just ignore the watch and run anyway. Okay, now I’m just being silly.
* Other GPS watches are, of course, available. But none are quite so Garminny.